Holiday conversation chez nous
You may have noticed that members of my family never appear in this blog.
That’s at their own request. Somehow, I don’t know why, they’ve got the idea that if they were to appear JOKES WOULD BE MADE AT THEIR EXPENSE.
Anyway, dutifully anonymized, these are various snippets of conversation overheard chez nous from the holidays…
‘How did the National Trust AGM go this year?’
‘Well, it was rather overshadowed by the issue of bracken.’
‘Bracken? How on earth can that be controversial?’
‘Actually, they don’t know what bracken is in America, they don’t have it there.’
‘The National Trust and American people won’t tolerate bracken, what madness is this?’
(exasperated) ‘I didn’t say bracken, I said FRACKING!’
‘Oohhhrgh!’
‘What’s that terrible noise?’
‘He’s tickling Ruby’s stomach again and whipping her into a frenzy’.*
‘Oh. There’s something wrong with my waterproof trousers, they didn’t used to have pockets in them. Are these definitely mine?’
‘No, they’re not your waterproof trousers, they’re your PYJAMA trousers.’
‘Is that Saga’s boss all tied up and gagged?’
‘No, it’s Sarah Lund’s boss Brix.’
‘Are we watching The Killing or The Bridge?’
‘It’s THE SAME ACTOR.’
‘They don’t have many actors in Norway, do they, if they all have to appear in all the programmes?’
‘What time does the train go?’
‘At ten to nine.’
‘So why have we come to the station at a quarter past eight?’
But hey, it’s back to work tomorrow, and I’ll miss all the family fun!
* Ruby is A DOG so I trample all over her right to privacy.
Some wise friends told us, when first married, that until children came along the most sensible way to preserve our sanity over Christmas was to resist all attempts to make us spend the holiday with family, on either side. It’s all becoming clear now…!
Of course we Americans have bracken! I worked a summer job at a florist shop many years ago, and used a great deal of the stuff as filler.
Ruby Dog would like it to be noted how much she enjoyed the attention whilst on holiday with you. And all the walkies. Also how glad she is that no unflattering allusion has been made here to her “glowing Baskerville glare”.
Me: that Turkey looks as if it was well feed
Granny: gosh I hope it is dead!